Wedding Fail.

A friend of mine is getting married tomorrow and I sent her quick note today with the same sage advice I received from many, many people before my own wedding.  If you've had a wedding, then I'm sure you've heard some variation of this advice: soak it in, be present, enjoy the moment, it goes so fast!  This got me thinking about some of the less than perfect details about my wedding and how I dealt with them - or rather, didn't deal with them, but just let them go!  

After scouring countless wedding websites throughout the planning process, I knew there were a couple of things we'd do to manage the day of.  First, I decided to create a "call anybody but the bride" list.  Essentially, you create a list with all of your vendors and their contact information so that you can hand it off to a trusted family member or bridesmaid.  I added arrival times for each vendor so that my designees would know when something was off schedule without me telling them.  I gave the list out at the rehearsal, letting everyone know who had them.  Most importantly, I made abundantly clear that if there was any kind of problem (no matter how small) I did not want to know.  Everyone laughed when I said that but they knew I meant it!

The other thing we did that I am so, so grateful for was ask one of our dearest friends to be the MC.  We debated about this because we had a DJ and we knew he could probably play this role as well, but having someone so close to us run the show left me feeling like there was not a thing to worry about.  Looking at the photos now, I always chuckle at this one of me waiting to cut the cake.  The cake cutting was at 8:30pm on the timeline and the clock above the cake table is at precisely 8:30pm!

As much as you prepare, the biggest challenge is making yourself let go on the big day. Things will go wrong and you've just got to commit to yourself to be present and enjoy no matter what.  Here are a few things that didn't go quite right and how I dealt with them...

Bubble gum linens

At the last minute I decided to switch my linens from ivory to pale pink after seeing the most beautiful and romantic photos of someone else's outdoor wedding.  I didn't get to see the linens or a swatch beforehand, so I was eager for them to arrive the day of.  Unfortunately, the truck with the linens was stuck in terrible traffic and as the hours ticked away, still no linens. I was so glad my MOH had the vendor list because she stayed on top of tracking the truck. When the linens finally arrived I was just finishing hair and makeup and it was time to get dressed for photos.  As soon as I saw them I knew something was wrong.  They were pink but not pale pink!  I wanted light, airy and romantic but I got bubble gum!  This is probably my only post-wedding gripe, but in the moment I just had to let it go.  I never even said anything to the caterer - what good would it have done?

City setting

We got married at the Outdoor Art Club in Mill Valley.  It's right downtown but you'd never know it was there if you didn't know it was there.  We looked long and hard for a venue and we just loved this space because it felt like an oasis in the middle of the hustle and bustle (albeit, small-town hustle and bustle).  Well, with a city setting comes the potential of city sounds.  Right as the ceremony started a fleet of ambulance/fire trucks went by with sirens blazing.  I think it rattled our officiant but we just had to laugh!

Lovebird down

Whoops!

When I was first looking for wedding inspiration and browsing around for cake toppers I found on Pinterest these adorable fabric love birds dressed in wedding attire.  Well my mother-in-law became a Pinterest sleuth and at Christmas I unwrapped the.most.beautiful handmade love birds.  I've since turned them into ornaments so that we get to admire them once a year.  They inspired a bird theme throughout the wedding and I couldn't wait to stick those birdies on the cake!  We used a sweetheart table at our reception and it happened to be set at one side of the room with the cake on the opposite end.  At some point during dinner I noticed the photographer taking photos of the cake and to my horror, I saw that there was only one bird!  I thought, "Doesn't he notice there's only one bird?!"  I knew there was no way I'd make it across the room in my dress so I told my husband and like a stealth he got across the room in time to retrieve the other bird.  Fortunately the photographer got photos with both!

All better!

Family drama

By far, the hardest thing to deal with on the big day was family drama.  It really paid off for me to be clear that I did not want to know about any issues, because it turned out there was plenty of drama and I didn't know a thing about it until after all was said and done!  What makes me sad is that my husband had to shoulder the burden and didn't have my support but he knew that it would pull my focus from all the positives that day, and I'm so glad he decided not to say anything. Now that doesn't mean I didn't notice some cold gusts coming my way but I had fortified myself and promised that no matter what I would choose to honor the love in the room and pay no mind to any negativity.  I'm so proud of myself for following through on that.

What went wrong on your wedding day and how did you stay in the moment?