Marriage.

Since my (now) husband and I were together nearly 8 years before we got married, the question I get more than “So, when are you going to have kids?!” is “Do you feel different now that you’re married?”  At first I always said no.  But now, with 6 months under my belt, I do feel it’s different in some ways.

I’m more grounded in our partnership.  My husband had mastered long before I did the art of being a ‘team’ in public while sharing differences privately.  Something about making our vows public magnified for me that we’re partners before anything else.  Sadly, we’ve been having a deep conflict with someone close to us, and as hard as it is, it’s also shined a bright light on how important it is to put each other first, and I’m proud of us for staying on the same page throughout.

The receptionist where I work always says to me, “Kid, you’ve got so much time!” Marriage continues to remind me just how much time we have.  As an ambitious Millennial, I want more - now!  I want my dream job today.  I want our home perfectly furnished this minute.  Generally, I don’t think it would be fair to our relationship to restart the clock on our wedding day, but there is some element to marriage that feels new and fresh.  And knowing that we have the next 50+ years to check off our bucket list brings me a sense of peace and patience I didn’t have before.

We’re better together.  My husband had a long checklist of goals he wanted to achieve before getting married.  I was still in college when we started dating, so marriage wasn’t yet on my radar.  Even after several years, hard as we were each working, things have started to simply fall into place now that we’re married. Sure, it could just be the fruits of our labor finally blooming, but I think two is just better than one.

Did you feel your relationship changed after marriage?